The Most Amazing Relationship

Something is awfully wrong here. What on earth are we doing? We are giving away our birth right. We are surrendering responsibility in the most meaningful and important area of our precious lives – the area of Relationships.

 At the centre of every meaningful relationship is LOVE. We all value ourselves and want to be loved.  But most of the time we are depending on other people to love us. We are depending on other people to give and show us LOVE. We are giving them the first responsibility for loving us. We only feel loved because other people have decided to love us. This also means that if we don’t feel loved, we blame other people for not loving us.

We are depending on other people to give us value, to tell us that we are special, valuable and lovable. This means that we are building our sense of self-worth, our sense of value, meaning and well-being on the whims, moods, feelings and judgments of other people.

When we do this I strongly believe that we are setting ourselves up for a lot of disappointment, anger and frustration. Would you agree with me that people usually don’t do what we want or expect them to do for us most of the time?

 Would you also agree with me that people tend to do or say things that serve their own interests first before they think of serving other people’s needs, desires and interests?

And so what happens? These people that we depend on so much, fall short of our expectations and do not give us the love we want in the way that we want it.

The reason they behave in that way is not necessarily that they are bad people. They are just different from us and see things differently. They are not necessarily thinking of the same thing we are thinking at the same time that we are thinking about it. At the time that you expect them to be expressing and showing love to you, they will most likely be pre-occupied with their own issues and challenges. They are only human. So why stake your own happiness and fulfilment on them?

What I have come to realise is that when it comes to our strong desire to experience meaningful love, other people are unreliable.

Without encouraging vanity, self-centredness, selfishness and empty pride, I would like to suggest that after God, the first human being you can trust more than anyone else to give you meaningful and fulfilling love is YOU.

My own number one mission and purpose in life is to motivate and inspire myself and others to be the best that we can be. Please note that I have to motivate and inspire myself first. I strongly believe that I cannot give others what I don’t have myself. I have to walk my talk. Everything that I am sharing in this article and that I am going to be sharing on this blog, I live.  Meaningful life and leadership is all about working on yourself first before you can start demanding from other people and expecting them to do things for you.

Within my number one mission my first objective is to build an amazing relationship with myself –David Pasipanodya, my God, my wife, my five children and my two grandchildren. And once again I have to begin with myself. I cannot build meaningful relationships with my wife, children and grandchildren if I am all messed up. I cannot build fruitful work, business and other social relationships if I have not put my own act together.   

I am asking you to truly and unselfishly love yourself first before you can expect someone else to love you. I am asking you to build an amazing relationship with yourself first before you can expect to have an amazing relationship with someone else. I am also suggesting that it is when you give yourself genuine love, value, respect and appreciation that you will be able to attract genuine love, value, respect and appreciation from other people. It is the law of attraction.  What you create within you, you attract from other people.

Become aware of how valuable, important and special you are. Become aware of the fact that you spend 24 hours with yourself, a lot more time than even the closet person ever spends with you.

Also become aware of the fact that unless you appreciate who you are and give yourself the value that you deserve, no one else will. Focus on and become aware of your strengths more than anyone else ever will.

You are capable of and responsible for transforming your life more than anyone else can ever be. Nurture and nourish yourself in every way possible. You deserve it.  So why don’t you take 100% responsibility for the quality of your own life. After all relating with yourself is the only relationship where you have full control with no other human being involved.

Loving and building an amazing relationship with your self is not the same as feeding on your ego, vain pride and selfishness. It is not thinking that you are better than someone else. As a unique person you cannot be more important or less important than anyone else. All I am suggesting is that you embrace who you are and give yourself the value that you deserve  

Building an amazing relationship with your self means cheering yourself on even when everyone else has gone quiet. It means acknowledging, accepting and appreciating yourself unconditionally.  It is when you do all that needs to be done to encourage, motivate and inspire yourself that you show true love for the special person that you are.

This is building an amazing relationship with the one and only you. This is treating yourself as you truly deserve to be treated. This is focusing your thinking, your attitude and behaviour on the person who matters most in your life.

Do all these things and you will create an atmosphere of love, value and positivity around you. You will attract loving and amazing relationships around you. And that is where God lives. You will have empowered yourself to love unconditionally those people who matter in your life.

You will have followed one of Jesus’ most powerful instructions “Love your neighbour as yourself.”

So next time you are standing in front of the mirror, tell that person staring back at you, “Hey I really appreciate you. You are truly awesome, magnificent and special and I would love to build an amazing relationship with you!”